How to Ditch Your Date
by WakaLakaAlchemist
Summary: Hungary, for some unfathomable reason, sets Spain up with Belgium. Romano is left hurt and confused, so he runs away - and ends up in France. What else could possibly go wrong? Collab with titlelee1093, M for later chapters. Spamano and hinted GerIta.
1. Chapter 1

**How to Ditch Your Date  
****Part 1**

**A/N: Yeah, this is note semi-important so you should probably read it or something.**

**THIS BE A COLLAB FIC. 'Twas written with ****titlelee1093****. Fun times. It's not AU, though for some reason Spain has apparently never hung out with Belgium before. I suppose that could be accurate if they never had some sort of casual date…**

**What titlelee1093 wrote is in italics, what I wrote is…well…not. Our grammar is most likely far from perfect because I didn't bother to double-check it, but it's nothing that will cause seizures. I think.**

**Disclaimer: WE DO NOT OWN HETALIA.**

* * *

_Spain__ was working in his large garden full of tomatoes, 'cause, let's face it: Tomatoes are just plain freaking amazing in every way possible. Dirt and sweat covered his face. Spain grabbed a piece of cloth from his shirt pocket and dabbed his forehead. "There," he said aloud. "I'm done tending the garden today." Spain took off his shirt soaked with sweat and went inside his home. When he got inside, he put his tools in his gardening basket. His doorbell went off, '_Must be Romano! Yay!'_ he thought. He walked to the door and opened it and said, "Romano! Good to see..."_

_But it wasn't Romano, it was a girl. Her long brown hair was blowing in the wind. Her green eye showed kindness. It was Hungary. "Oh, sorry Hungary. I wasn't thinking you would come to my house."_

_Hungary shook it off, "It's no big deal. Plus, I didn't call to tell you I was coming anyway. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. May I come in?"_

_"Oh...yes! Sorry to be rude and all," Spain apologized. Spain moved out of the way. "Please come in." Hungary walked into Spain's home. His home was warm and welcoming._

_"Thank you," Hungary thanked. "Are you okay? You're all...sweaty."_

_"Yeah, I was working out in my garden. I was actually gonna go take a shower if you don't mind."_

_Hungary told him, "Oh! Not at all! Please go right ahead." Spain started walking up his stairs but then stopped. He looked down to see Hungary looking at a painting Italy made when he was younger, posted on his wall._

_"Hey Hungary?"_

_"Yes?" _

_"Can I ask you something?"_

_"Sure, what is it?"_

_Spain walked down stairs and was right in front of Hungary. His face about half a foot away from hers. He moved his hands onto her body. Hungary started freaking out. "Relax, Hungary," Spain said. "It's alright, I'm not going to molest you." Spain had one of his hands on her pockets, he went into her pocket and found a camera. "Just to be safe. I don't want all the countries to see what I look like when I'm taking a shower." Then Spain walked back upstairs and left Hungary aghast._

* * *

"And then we…so the whole time…and Japan was…"

Italy rattled on in what he thought was a conversation with Romano, when in fact the elder twin was ignoring him as best he could. They sat eating lunch at the kitchen table, consisting of pasta, wine, tomatoes, and more pasta. It was amazing how much those small Italians could fit inside their stomachs. Romano picked up bits and pieces of what Italy was saying, but he was truly starting to pick up a headache and hoping his brother wouldn't notice.

"So me and Germany had sex the whole night long!"

Romano choked on the pasta he had previously been trying to concentrate on and slammed his hands on the table. The silverware rattled, but Romano honestly didn't have enough strength to move the table all that much. "You did _what?"_

"Just kidding! You looked like you weren't paying attention and it was really bugging me, so I said something I knew would make you listen! Is something on your mind, _fratello?"_ Italy asked. His wide brown eyes looked so innocent, but Romano knew better. His brother was a scheming little manipulator when he wanted to be. Or maybe Romano was just jealous.

"No, nothing's on my mind! I'm hungry and I'm tired and I don't want to hear about your stupid friends," Romano groaned. "By the way, just for getting that thought into my head, I'm going to kill that bastard."

"Don't hurt Germany! He didn't do anything! He's a really nice guy, even though he does have those weird books and magazines and there was that one that involved dogs…" Italy immediately shut up when he saw the skin-piercing glare Romano was giving him.

Deciding to ignore the northern Italian again, Romano's mind drifted back to…

"Ve, _fratello_, when was the last time you visited Spain?"

Italy patted his brother's back softly after he began choking again.

"W-what does it matter to you? I saw him…um…at the last world conference…" Romano trailed off. That had been about a month ago.

"Romano, you should visit him. All you do when you're at home is sit around and sulk. He's called a few times too, when you were out getting groceries," Italy explained.

Romano blinked in confusion. "He did?"

"Oops!" Italy said, covering his mouth. "I forgot to tell you!"

Standing up quickly, Romano stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs muttering "Idiot!" under his breath.

Italy ran after him frantically. "Wait, Romano! I'm sorry! Did I make you mad? I didn't mean to!" he called up from the bottom step. _At least that shows he's thinking about him, _Italy thought, smiling to himself.

Meanwhile, Romano was standing in front of his bed staring at his cell phone and continued doing so for a good five minutes. _Should I call him? I don't want him to get some idea in his head that I need him or something…_

A flush spread across his face. Where did that come from?

"Screw it," Romano muttered, scrolling through his phone book and selecting Spain's name. He would call him, before he chickened out as he usually did. "I'm bored and it won't be long before that potato bastard comes over to piss me off again anyway," he reasoned.

"Sí?" a warm, melodic voice answered after the first ring. He sounded a little out of breath.

Romano paused. Why had he called him? He didn't know what to say. And why was the bastard sounding so tired?

"Spain, what the hell are you doing? I decide to call you and you're…"

"Romano, hi! I'm so happy you called! I just finished taking a shower!"

Romano decided not to connect the words _Spain_ and _shower _in his head. "Yeah, yeah. Are you busy?"

"Actually, Hungary is over! I'm not sure why she's here yet, but I have to go now! I don't want to keep her waiting. I'll talk to you later, Lovi! Bye!"

Romano stared at the disconnected phone in confusion. Antonio had hung up on him. Hungary was at his house. He attempted with little success to keep down the awful, heavy feeling in his stomach.

_

* * *

_

_Spain closed his phone and quickly put on some clothes. He walked downstairs drying his hair with a towel. He looked up to see Hungary looking at the painting still. "You seem very interested in that one painting, should I ask why?" Spain asked._

_Hungary looked up at Spain startled but smiled and said, "I basically raised Italy with my Austria. Don't I have the right to look at my 'child's' work?"_

_Spain let out a small laugh. "Of course you can, I wasn't going to stop you."_

_Hungary looked up at Spain and said, "I actually have a few questions for you."_

_"Oh, really?"_

_"Yeah, do you mind if we sit down? I really don't want to be on my feet all day."_

_"Not at all." Spain and Hungary walked to the sofas and sat down. "What's on your mind?"_

_Hungary started fidgeting with her apron, "When I was looking at the painting that Italy did and I was wondering why you don't have one made by Lovi, I mean, you did look over him when he was younger after all."_

_Spain started pondering on the question, "Hmmm...oh yeah! He never really made one. He was too busy being mad at people."_

_"Would you like it if he did make you one?"_

_Spain started getting a huge grin on his face, "Of course I would like a painting from my Lovi!"_

_"Another thing that strikes my curiosity is..." Elizabeta started._

_"You know, curiosity killed the cat." Spain interrupted. "Maybe there are some things you shouldn't know."_

_Hungary got closer to Spain, her face inches from his. He could smell her perfume of daisies and roses. Her breath was warm. "But Spain, satisfaction brought it back."_

_Spain looked at Elizabeta with a blank look but then started to laugh, "That's a new one! I haven't heard that one before."_

_Hungary had chuckled a little and went back to her question, "Earlier when you searched me for my camera, it surprised me that you would actually do that. Usually you wouldn't care. What made change all of the sudden?"_

_"I realized something."_

_"What did you realize?"_

_"If that happened to the person I care for, no offense, I would want to hit you in the face."_

_Hungary did start to get angry though, "You would hit me in face? Fine, bring it on then!"_

_Spain started to laugh more, "I'm not gonna hurt you Elizabeta. I only said I would only feel like hitting you."_

_"Fine..."_

_"It's just that, I'm pretty sure, if they felt the same way for me as I did for them, they would only want themself to see what I looked like and no one else."_

_A long pause filled the room. The second hand on the clock was the only thing that filled the room. "Have you ever meet Belgium before?"_

* * *

Romano wished whoever was making noise outside his door would kindly shut the fuck up. He groaned, attempting to sit up and rub the sleep out of his eyes. The voices came closer; one was high-pitched and childish, the other was low and deep.

"…still won't come out of his room! I don't know what happened, he's been in there for hours!" Romano guessed this was Italy speaking.

"Leave him alone, Italia. I'm sure he's fine," the other voice, who Romano guessed was Germany, said. Gritting his teeth, he stood up from his bed, speed-walked across his room, and slammed the door open—right in the younger Italian's face.

"Owww! That hurt!" Italy whined, backing into the German standing behind him.

"Why did you bring that asshole here?" Romano demanded. Instead of answering, Italy continued to whimper and hold his nose in his hands. Tears streamed down his red face and a single drop of blood escaped his palm.

"O-oh no! Germany, I'm bleeding! It hurts, it hurts! What should I do?" Italy asked, turning back and forth and generally making the blood flow worse. Ludwig clasped his hands on Italy's shoulders and spun him around to face him.

He stared deeply into the smaller man's eyes and spoke softly. "Stop crying. Let me see…move your hand. It's not that bad. Just tilt your head up and wait here, I'll get you a tissue." Germany turned away towards the bathroom and walked off, leaving the two Italians to stand outside of Lovino's bedroom. Romano glared after the German but didn't say anything; he was helping his brother, after all. He swallowed and felt a stabbing pain in his throat when he did so. Even though they were the same age, Germany had such a maternal attitude towards Italy. It reminded Romano of when he was under Spain's care, and he'd get yelled at and hugged at the same time…

"Ve, fratello! See, Germany is so thoughtful! I invited him to stay over for the week!" Italy said, smiling behind his blood-drenched hand.

That was it. Romano was going to visit Spain tomorrow, whether he had company or not.

_

* * *

_

After Hungary left his house and a nice long night of good old sleep, Spain started his day by getting ready for his "date". Spain decided to go for a blazer and dark worn out jeans, a nice white collar shirt and a gray shirt underneath. He checked himself in the mirror and he actually thought he was pretty hot. He opened his phone and decided to try and call Lovi again. After a few rings a person with a high pitched voice answered the phone. "Ciao!"

_"Italy, hola. Is Romano available right now?"_

_"Um...let me check." After a few minutes of voices in the background, Spain heard Italy pick up the phone and told him, "No actually. He left a note, said he was gonna be out for a few days. He'll call to say he's safe. Sorry Spain."_

_"Oh, it's okay. I can try on his cell phone. Thanks Italy!"_

_"No problema, I'll tell him you called though. BYE BYE!"_

_"Bye." Spain hung up the phone and cursed under his breath. 'Where could he be?' he asked himself._

_He dialed Romano's cell. It started to ring, once, twice, three times, four...he wasn't picking up. Spain started getting frustrated and hung up. And quickly dialed a text saying, 'Where r u?' and sent it, hoping he would hear from Romano before his "date" arrived._

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**Next chapter will be up depending on the response we get on this story. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**How to Ditch Your Date  
****Part 2**

**A/N: Chapter 2! I don't even know if titlelee realizes I've put this story up...Once again, her writing is in italics.**

* * *

He had to admit, this was pretty pathetic.

"Damn it," Lovino hissed, pulling his red vespa over to the side of the road. He was not lost. No way, there was no way he could be lost in his own country…unless he hadn't been imagining things when he'd passed a sign to St. Moritz. Wait. St. Moritz, as in Switzerland? Okay, he was lost.

"Spain, you're so stupid…Stupid, stupid bastard dumbass Spain…" Romano cut his engine and stared down the road. Not a lot of cars were out. He looked down from the mountain the road was perched upon, seeing fog and trees and more fog. Hopefully Switzerland wouldn't catch him here, not because he had a bad relationship with him, but because from a distance he might think he was Feliciano. And that could be disastrous.

Feeling a vibration in his pants pocket, he took out his phone and looked at the caller ID. _Idiota Spagna, +34 7XX XXX XXX_

"No, _Spagna_, you have your fun with _Ungheria_. Don't let me bother you," he muttered, shoving it back into his pocket. When it rang again, he ignored it, starting the engine again and kicking back the kickstand. He didn't pay attention to where he was going and very nearly ran off the road several times, narrowly missing a flock of sheep.

Romano had planned on heading to Spain's, but somewhere along the way he'd gotten off track. If he went to Spain's house, he would just end up in an awkward situation, no doubt. Antonio had specifically told him that he had company, so would he even want him to come? He didn't want to answer his calls either; Romano just didn't want to hear his voice at the moment.

_What is _wrong_ with me? I am such a freaking pansy…_ he thought irritatedly. Why not answer the phone? He didn't even know what Spain wanted. For all he knew, he could be inviting him over. Or he could be telling him he was going out on a date with Hungary, because that's something the thick-headed bastard would do.

"_Mon dieu! _Watch where you're going!"

The vespa grinded to a screeching halt. Oh no. Oh god no.

"Oh, well if it isn't little Romano! What are you doing along the Swiss-French border?" the man said, stepping closer to the stopped scooter.

Lovino jumped back a few meters and put up his best defensive stance. "G-get away, wine bastard! You want the mafia on you?"

France only laughed. "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you. I hardly expected to see you here of all places. Are you lost?"

"What's it to you?" Romano huffed, crossing his arms.

"If you're lost, Antoine is going to get worried. And if Antoine gets worried, he'll call _tout le monde,_ and I do mean _all the world_ literally," Francis shrugged. "I'd rather not deal with that. Would you like me to call _Espagne_ so he can pick you u—"

"NO!"

France blinked in surprise. "_No?_ Why not?"

"I don't…I don't want to talk to him right now…I just want to get away…" Lovino said, staring down at his boots.

After a long silence, Francis seated himself on Romano's motorbike.

"Hey, what the hell do you think—"

"Get on."

Romano simply stared at the Frenchman as if he were the most insane man in the world. Which, in this situation, he probably was.

"I'm not getting off, so if you want your bike back, get on," he repeated.

What was he thinking? There was no way Romano was going to get on the same vehicle as that pervert, especially not right behind him.

"I'm not going to molest you, Romano. I'm being serious," he sighed.

"Where are you going to take me…?"

Francis patted the seat behind him, placing the grocery bag he'd been carrying on the handlebars. "You'll have to trust me. This is for your own good, Lovino."

He must have been as crazy as that damned frog, because Romano climbed right on to the seat behind him (though he refused to wrap his arms around the wine bastard—he didn't trust him completely).

With the rev of an engine, the two were off, heading farther into French territory. Lovino's suspicions were growing deeper, but somehow he felt this was a sort of payback to Antonio. If he wanted to spend time with someone else, then fine. Romano would too. Even if it might end up costing him his virginity.

Yes, Lovino was one pathetic case.

* * *

_Spain started getting really impatient. "Okay, Lovi is doing this on purpose. I know him by now," he said. Spain was in his car driving to his "date's" house. He drove up to a nice big house. He got out of his red convertible and walked up to the front door. He rang the door bell and waited. After a minute or so, an old man with a butler outfit on opened the door. _

_The old man looked at Spain, "Mr. Antonio, I presume." Spain nodded and the butler told him, "My lady is expecting you. Please, come this way." Spain followed him into a big parlor. "Please wait here until she comes." The butler walked away before saying anything. Antonio spotted a few maids hiding behind a wall, admiring how good looking he was. Spain looked at the maids, gave one of his kind smiles and gave them a wave. He thought he saw one of the maids pass out from a nose bleed but he must have imagined it. He turned to look out the window. The garden looked green and full of life. Spain started to smile as he thought of his Lovi, hoping he was okay._

_"The garden is really beautiful, isn't it?" a female voice said. Spain turned around to see a girl with a red bow in her golden hair. Her green emerald eyes shone through. She was in a black skirt and dark gray jacket, underneath the jacket stood out a satiny red blouse. She wore a pair of dark gray high heels to match the jacket._

_Spain smiled and said, "It is a gorgeous garden. You must take very good care of it Belgium."_

_Belgium smiled and said, "I do. I don't get the time though, since I have to deal with neighbors like England, France, and Germany. Do you know how loud England can get at night? Man, he's insane. Shouting out, 'Oh Alfred! More!' I want to go over there and shoot him in the head at times."_

_Spain started to laugh, "That's England for you. France is also a lousy neighbor."_

_"Oh, I know! I have to set up my security systems to high quality just to have him leave me alone."_

_Spain stood up and walked closer to Belgium. "I love it how Romano is afraid of France though. Francis hasn't even raped him yet. He hides behind the closest thing he can find and starts screaming that he sees France. It's so cute."_

_Belgium started to laugh, "Yes, screaming while hiding, that's the perfect way to hide," Belgium said sarcastically._

_After Belgium and Spain stopped giggling and laughing, Belgium got closer to Spain and said to him in a whispering voice, "I have an idea to make this date extremely fun." Belgium whispered her idea to Antonio. Spain started getting a huge grin on his face. "So what do you think?"_

_"Let's do it." Spain and Belgium walked out of her house, got into Spain's car and headed to the nearest drug store they could find. The car ride was quiet; neither Spain nor Belgium knew who should talk first. "I'm surprised I haven't hung out with you until now," Spain started. "You are a lot of fun to hang out with." _

_Belgium looked at Spain with wide eyes, "Um...thank you Antonio. You are a lot of fun as well." _

_"Why thank you. So are you...ah, we're here." Spain told her. Belgium was curious to what Spain was going to ask but she didn't mention anything. Spain went up and opened the door for Belgium. Belgium got up and walked inside the store. Spain waited outside until he saw Belgium caring tons of bags. "You got the goods, sí?" _

_Belgium nodded and asked, "Could you help me put these in the car?" Spain grabbed a couple of bags and put them in the back. Then Spain and Belgium got back in the car and started for France's house._

* * *

For the sake of Romano's mental state and France's health, the ride remained silent. By now he guessed they were going to the frog's house, and Lovino was almost certain one of them would be dead by the end of the day. Perhaps his plan for revenge against Spain was going too far.

When was the last time he'd been to France's house? He couldn't even remember. Maybe Spain had taken him over for a visit when he was little; who kept track?

"You haven't been to _ma maison _since you were but a _petit_ _enfant!_"

Apparently France did.

Lovino merely snorted and said, "What do you expect? For me to just drop in unexpected? I'd have to be completely desperate—" he stopped cold when he remembered just what he was doing.

Laughing, Francis responded, "Of course, _mon ami_, of course."

He stopped the vespa smoothly in front of a large, grandiose country house. Elegant vines climbed up the sides but remained tame, and a large garden of red and yellow roses made claim to much of the front yard (so _that's_ where he got all of those). The elder Italian stared at the house blankly, and was startled when France called out to him from the front door.

"Are you coming or not?" he said.

Romano hopped off the scooter and took the keys from the ignition. He walked up the stone path to where Francis was standing, making sure to keep a safe distance.

"How do you like it? Does it suit your picky tastes?" Francis teased.

The house was nice, but Lovino would never stoop so low as to compliment France. It reminded him of Spain's house, but with flowers instead of tomatoes. "It's gaudy," he lied. "Like you."

France shrugged it off and stepped inside, motioning Romano in with the hand that wasn't resting on the doorknob. Once they were both seated in his living room, they sat for quite some time before speaking.

"So what did Spain do—"

"Why did you bring me here—"

The two Europeans cleared their throats awkwardly. France nodded for him to go on.

"Why did you bring me to your house if you're not planning something?" Romano asked.

"You seemed sad, and obviously Antoine did something wrong. I do care, you know. Our dear _Italie _doesn't call me Big Brother France for nothing," he answered. Francis crossed one leg over the other and smiled, folding his hands over his lap. "So what did Esagne do?"

Avoiding France's eyes, Romano spoke softly enough so he had to strain to hear what the boy was saying. "I…I called him. It was weird, because usually he's the one constantly calling me, and I hadn't heard from him since the last world meeting. He told me that Hungary was over, and he just…he said goodbye and hung up." He refused to cry in front of the older nation, but his throat was straining and tight and his eyes were burning.

France sighed and stood, sitting himself next to Romano. He put an arm around him slowly, careful not to make it look like he was coming on to him. "There, there, Lovino, just let it out. Espagne can be such a dense idiot, _non?_"

"I…I don't even know why I'm so upset over it…Why should I care what he does or who he's with?" His tears betrayed him and ran down his reddening face.

He honestly didn't know yet? Just about everyone knew how Romano felt except for Spain and the Italian himself. Maybe it was time to let him know how he really felt, to help him get over the hell he was putting himself through.

Francis took a deep breath and started. "Lovi, I think it's time I tell you—"

Suddenly, the door was forced off its hinges and a glass bottle skimmed past France's face, shattering into the wall behind him.

_Belgium walked into the room with empty glass bottles in her hands. "Hey, boys!" she said. _

_France quickly sat up and walked up to her. "Oh Belgium," he started. "Long time no see. You and I have a lot of..." *SMACK* Belgium threw one of the glass bottles up in the air and smacked France in the face. She quickly caught the empty bottle before it hit the ground._

_"Sorry, I needed a free hand," she stated. She looked out to where the door used to be and shouted, "Antonio! _ALLEZ,_ go, go!"_

_Spain ran into the room with rolls of toilet paper in his hands and started to throw them everywhere in the house, though no one was paying attention to Romano, who was sitting there the whole time. Romano could hear Spain's and Belgium's laughter as they were doing things to France's home. Belgium was almost done beating up France. She tied him up with chains and threw him into his closet. She told him, "Next time, don't play your porn so loudly that you make sure that every neighbor can hear it. I mean, furries, really?" Belgium slammed the door and walked up to Romano._

_Tears were still drying on his face. Belgium knelt down to wipe him off with her handkerchief. Romano took the handkerchief from her hand and used it himself. He was about to hand it back when they both heard France yelling in the closest for freedom. Belgium took the handkerchief back and said, "Just a second Lovino." Belgium went back up to the closet, opened the door, forced the handkerchief into his mouth, duct taped his mouth shut, and slammed the door shut again._

Spain laughed, and Belgium offered him a high-five. She then turned to Romano, both concern and humor lingering on her face.

"So, Lovino, what's the matter?" she asked.

It was then that Spain finally noticed Romano crying softly on the couch, and the excitement he'd been feeling moments ago vanished. He turned to the closet in which Francis resided and picked up the neck of a broken bottle. Opening the door slowly, he dragged France out by his hair and brandished the glass in front of his face.

"Francis," he said, "What did you do to my Lovi?"

"Mmmf! Mmm nnn fmmm!"

Belgium yanked the handkerchief out of France's mouth and dropped it on the floor as if it were the plague.

"_Je n'ai rien fait, je te promets!_" France garbled frantically. Spain simply stared at him, not completely familiar with French.

"Um…what?"

"He said he didn't do anything," Belgium said. "But I'm still doubtful." Hands on her hips, she looked over her shoulder at Romano. He was looking at them but not looking at them, seeming to be in his own little world. The tears had stopped but his face was still wet.

_My Lovi._

That's what Spain had called him. That's what Spain always called him, but at the moment, it didn't seem right. He'd been with Hungary…and now Belgium too? Romano was confused and hurt and very, very tired.

"Lovinito!" Spain called. "What did Francis do to you?" He poked the broken glass into France's cheek, not deep enough to penetrate his skin but enough to make him whimper.

Lovino snapped out of his reverie and looked at the scene before him. Spain had hung up on him for Hungary; then he'd probably spent his day with Belgium and was having the time of his life. This was a date; it had to be. Antonio and Belgium were both dressed so well, if you ignored the disheveled hair that they'd obtained from the fray.

"Boy, Francis, you really did a number on him. The noisy kid won't even talk!" Belgium whistled.

"I-I'm telling the truth! You can believe me, right?" France cried, struggling against Spain's iron grip.

"I'm sorry, Francis, but I can't let you get away with hurting my Lovi," Antonio said, raising the bottle above his head.

My Lovi.

Your Lovi.

His Lovi.

_I'm not your Lovi._

"He didn't do anything!" Romano shouted suddenly. He stood and turned towards Antonio, tears threatening to flow again. "This is all your fault, you bastard! And I don't belong to you or anyone!" Before anyone could say another word, he ran out of the house, turned on his engine, and left.

* * *

**_Francis hasn't even raped him yet._**

**"Yet"? I love your choice of words there, titlelee. XD**

**Most of the translations are pretty obvious, so I'll put up the slightly less obvious ones.  
****  
_Ungheria_ - Hungary  
_tout le monde _- everyone (literally, "all the world")  
****_allez _- go  
_Je n'ai rien fait, je te promets - _I did nothing, I promise you  
****  
So, thank you for reading, and please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**How to Ditch Your Date  
****Part 3**

**Does anyone else find Spain's English dub voice sexy? _Dios mio._**

**Warnings: Romano's mouth  
Disclaimer: WE DO NOT OWN HETALIA.**

* * *

_"Romano!" Belgium shouted. She looked at Spain who didn't take a second to stop; he started to run out the door and jumped into the convertible._

_"Sorry, Belgium!" Spain shouted over the roaring of his convertible's engine. "Hurry and come along, I'm gonna need your help!" Belgium nodded and ran to the car. Not even caring about opening the car door, she jumped over it and pulled her seat belt on. Spain slammed on the gas as they zoomed off the go get Lovi and to leave France with no escape._

_As they were driving, they could see the small red vespa driving as fast as it could. It wasn't as fast as the convertible though. "Bella, I'm gonna need you to take over driving," Spain said quickly. _

_"What?" Belgium freaked, "Are you nuts?"_

_Spain looked at Belgium with a smile on his face, "I am for the ones I love."_

_Belgium's face was lightly covered with a natural blush but she smiled along. "Okay, I'm taking over." Bella took the steering wheel and started to scoot over as Spain began to stand up. He waited until they were neck to neck with Lovino._

_"When we get right next to Lovi, I want you to say now. I'll jump out of the car and onto Lovi's scooter, got it?"_

_Belgium said yes and they waited until they were neck and neck. They could see Romano's tear stained face, his eyes misty still. "NOW!" Belgium yelled. Spain jumped onto the scooter. Romano had no time to react. Bella kept right on driving out of sight. Romano stopped the scooter and stared at Antonio._

_"What the hell, you tomato bastard?" Romano yelled._

_Spain just stared at him, letting himself take everything that Romano had in him, "Do you know how fucking dangerous that was? You could have gotten killed! You know what? I wouldn't have cared! I would have just kept on driving!"_

_"No you wouldn't," Spain said back._

_"Yeah I..." Lovi started._

_"No, you wouldn't. I know you better than that my Lovi," Antonio said. He pulled Lovino into his arms. Romano tried to push back but he just couldn't keep fighting anymore. He held on to Spain and started to cry silently onto his shoulder._

_"I'm sorry Lovi," Spain whispered. He started stroking Romano's hair. "I never meant to hurt you."_

They collapsed onto the ground next to the motorbike, Spain choosing to ignore the slight pain received in his back. "L-liar…You bastard…" Romano muttered into Spain's shirt, though all the anger in his voice was lost to exhaustion. They stayed like this for a while, nothing needing to be said for the moment. Lovino didn't want to think; he wished they could sit there forever and forget everything, every misunderstanding that had happened between them. Spain, of course, had to go and ruin that.

"Lovi, what's the matter? Why were you at France's house, and why are you crying?" he asked.

Romano huffed in frustration. "Because you're a dick."

Antonio sat straight up, shocked at Lovino's language, but he really shouldn't have been. "_Pero cariño, por qué?_" he whined.

The younger man blushed. _I call_ _Spain a dick, then he goes and calls me "love"? The fuck is that?_ he thought. He lifted his head from Antonio's shoulder but refused to look him in the eye. He knew there would be sadness there, which was rare with Spain, and it hurt to know he had caused it.

"You…you went on a date with her, didn't you?" Romano asked slowly.

"Um… _Sí_, _querido_, why?" Spain, amazingly, still looked clueless.

Lovino grit his teeth in irritation. "Would you _stop doing that? _You're dating Belgium now, so call her your _querido _or _tomate _or _cari__ño _or whatever the fuck you want to call your lovers!"

"But Lovi…I'm so used to calling you that. I can't help it, I love _mi tomate!_ And Bella isn't my lover, silly, she is a friend. We haven't talked in ages; I thought it would be fun to hang out with her again!"

"Stupid…do you even know what a date is?" Romano frowned. He ignored the blush spreading across his face over Spain's bluntness.

Knowing full well what Lovino would do if he pointed out his tomato-esque visage, Spain said, "Of course I do. It's…oh. Oh! _That _kind of date? Of course not! I don't like her like that!"

"Then what about Hungary? Why was she at your house?"

"Ah, I suppose it was to set up this date with Bella, though I guess it didn't turn out quite as planned." Spain laughed lightly, and Romano gasped.

"Wait…this was _her_ doing? _She _set _you_ up with a _girl? _Why the hell would…" Oh no. She wouldn't. She wouldn't go that far…would she? "That scheming bitch," he hissed.

"Roma, your language!" Unfortunately for Spain and anyone within hearing range, that caused Lovino to explode.

"Fuck my goddamn language to motherfucking hell! She _wanted_ to make me jealous, that homo-crazy little shi—" Spain managed to cover Lovino's mouth fast enough to stop the tirade of coming insults. He used his free hand to place a finger on his own lips.

"Shhh, Lovi, calm down! Now take a deep breath and tell me what's the matter," Antonio said soothingly. Romano's face turned pink and no, he was not thinking of licking Spain's hand, dammit! He took a few seconds to breathe when Antonio freed his mouth.

_"That stupid scheming bit-" Romano started but caught himself because Spain would just cover his mouth again. "Hungary," he said through gritted teeth. "Set us up so she can make me fu-, jealous. Her and her stupid homosexual obsession..."_

_"Wait..." Spain thought. "You were jealous? Why cariño? Do you like Bella that way?"_

_Romano was surprised at the thought, "WHAT? FUCK NO! That blonde bitch can go to mother fucking hell for all-"_

_Spain put his finger back on Lovi's mouth. He said quietly, "Mi tomate, please watch your language. Bella isn't as bad as you think she is, no, she is very kind. If it wasn't for Bella, Francis would be doing god-knows-what to you. I would have never forgiven myself, Lovino, if anything did happen to you."_

_Antonio slowly put his hand down. Lovino struggled with his emotions, unsure whether he should be cussing still or comforting Spain. "He, France that is, was going to tell me something," he told him. "Then you guys came in._ _I'm guessing it was something important, but now I'll never know." Spain stood up and got the scooter off the ground. "What the hell are you doing?" Romano asked._

_"We're going to see Francis," Spain said. "Hop on."_

_"What? Like I said, I don't even know whether or not it was important. I'm just taking a random guess you idiot."_

_Spain grabbed Romano by the shoulders. "It is bothering you _querido_. As long as something is on your mind, I will always want to help." Spain leaned in and kissed Romano on the forehead. Romano's face got redder. "I always will."_

_Spain got on the scooter and Romano slowly walked up to the scooter. Antonio stared at him for a while. "I'm driving so scoot backwards," Romano said. Spain smiled and moved back. Romano sat down in the driver's seat and started to drive towards France's house._

* * *

The wind was practically scraping the flesh from his face, so why did it feel so hot? Spain nuzzled his neck, humming happily. Oh no, Romano was not going to let him get away with this. He couldn't just pretend he hadn't gone out on a date with Belgium and hung up on Lovino. Nobody hung up on Lovino.

He increased their speed by about twenty miles per hour, and Antonio tightened his grip around Romano's waist at a particularly sharp turn, causing him to cough.

"Damn it, Spain, you're holding on too tight!" he complained.

Antonio loosened his grip and said, "B-but _dios_, _cariño_, you're going too fast! I'm afraid for my life!"

"If we weren't driving, I swear, I'd slap the Spanish right out of your mouth," Lovino mumbled.

Laughing, Spain said, "Now how would you do that?"

"Don't provoke me."

"Well, Lovi, if you weren't driving, I wouldn't have a reason to be scared."

Romano's hands clenched on the handlebars. "Oh, you're _going_ to have a reason to be scared, you son of a bitch. Thanks to you, France took advantage of my crying and started feeling me up, and I was so upset I didn't bother stopping him! Thinking about it now, it makes me sick! I feel the need to bathe in holy water for Christ's sake!"

Spain's arms squeezed at Lovino's waist again. "So…he really did violate you?"

"Well, um…I-it's not…"

"Speed up, Lovi."

"Now hold up, Spain, this isn't about hi—"

"_Speed up, querido,_" he breathed into Romano's ear. A shiver ran down the Italian's spine and he complied, now feeling genuinely sorry for France.

They made it to his house in record time and noticed Belgium had left the door wide open. Spain went straight to France, who at first looked at him with relief, then panicked when he saw the look on his face.

"You touched Lovi," Spain said flatly.

"Antoine, what are you talking about?" he replied as Romano walked behind him and unlocked the chains holding his wrists together. He turned to Romano in shock. "Where did you find the key? I was looking all over for it!"

"It was in your hair," Lovino answered.

"You're kidding! A-anyway, I didn't touch Romano in any way that would upset you! All I did was comfort him while you were off on your date!"

Spain looked to the ground guiltily. Okay, so he hadn't known it was that kind of date. He knew he didn't think things through all the time. What was he supposed to do about it? "It all comes back to that, huh…? Lovinito, I'm sorry, but I don't get why you're so upset!"

France stood, a smile growing on his face. "And that's where I come in. I had something to tell Romano before you and _Belgique_ came, but I suppose if you're here too, that makes it even easier. Romano…I want you to listen, really listen, and think about what I'm about to say. _D'accord?_"

He nodded slowly.

"You," Francis said, "are in love with Espagne."

* * *

**A/N: Poor France...Titlelee1093's computer is broken so she can't see your lovely reviews, but I promise she loves you for them, and as do I. Thank you for reading and putting up with the awful grammar (haha sorry Sexykill69).**


	4. Chapter 4

**How to Ditch Your Date  
****Part 4**

**A/N: titlelee1093 is getting her computer fixed right now, and this is the last part she wrote, so it may take a while to get the next chapter up. Also, if there are any Spanish (European) speakers here, I need some help for the next chapter. I don't know nearly enough Spanish for…well…you'll see…So thank you, that would be greatly appreciated.**

* * *

_"WHAT? Are you fucking insane? No way would I be in love with this motherfucking idiot!" Lovi shouted. 'Me, in love with Spain? What is he thinking?' the Italian thought to himself. Spain started to have pains where his heart was when Romano shouted out those words.  
__France chuckled to himself. "Alright, tell me things that you don't like about Antoine?"  
"Oh, easy," Romano chuckled. "He's obsessed with tomatoes, he doesn't think things through all the time, he's obsessed with calling me My Lovi, tomate, cariño, etc..."  
"Now tell me what you do like about Spain?" France asked. Spain started to lighten up about this.  
"What I like?" Romano asked._

_"Oui," the Frenchman answered._

_"He, he's...nice," Lovi struggled to say. Saying nice things always wanted to make him puke. "He always wants...to see me, he actually says nice things about me...even when my own brother won't, look can I stop now?"_

_"Not yet," Francis told. "Keep going."_

_"You keep going you mother fucking assho..."Romano said underneath his breath but stopped because of the stare that Spain was giving him._

_"Um...let's see..." Romano said, trying to escape the stare that Antonio was giving him. "I like his cooking...there. I'm done. Nothing you can say or do is going to make me say any..."_

_Antonio pressed his lips on to Romano's. Spain didn't care that France was right there. Romano noticed that Spain's lips were soft and warm. He could notice the taste of tomatoes and garlic in his breath, but there was also the tint taste to mint. As Spain's lips left Lovi's, Antonio hugged Romano in a tight embrace. "I really needed to hear those nice words, cariño, thank you."_

Spain's words ran hot down Romano's neck and for some strange reason sent shivers down his spine. He was touching him, he kissed him, _Antonio _kissed_ him. _He tasted like tomatoes and the ocean and spices and summer and home and _Spain,_ so wonderfully _Spain_.

"Ah…" this was the only coherent thing Romano could think to say. What was he doing? He was supposed to be mad at the bastard! Push him away, dammit! He was still blank from having to think up what he even liked about Antonio, and this wasn't helping. At all. And neither was the bulge forming in his pants.

Spain, however, was ecstatic. Not only had Lovi let him kiss him, he didn't even say mean things or push him away or headbutt him!

Romano needed to get away. Desperately. Having Spain around while he was in this state was bad enough, but _France_ was there. Fucking wino bastard. Oh, if he weren't here, Lovino would be all sunshine and rainbows for what this would probably lead to. After all this, Romano had figured out exactly what he wanted from Spain, and though his mind wouldn't accept it, his body certainly could.

"D-don't let it get to your head, tomato bastard," Lovino said, but he didn't show any signs of moving. He swallowed, his hands twitching at his sides and his face growing visibly redder by the second. France watched on in amusement while Romano gave him a look that would bring Satan to his knees.

Then the genius we know as Spain suddenly realized that Francis was still there and that they were, in fact, in his house.

"Oh, I'm sorry, France! Do you want us to leave?" Antonio asked, tilting his head at his blond friend.

"Non, non, carry on! Feel free to be as loud as you want, and don't be afraid to let Big Brother France join in!" he replied, smirking at Romano. At this, Romano began thrashing in Spain's arms in an attempt to murder the Frenchman. Spain had no idea what brought on this bout of anger, so he tightened his grip around him.

"Goddammit, Spain, let me go! I've gotta murder this son of a bi—"

"Lovi, I give you the attention you desired and you want to play with France? What's with that?" Antonio murmured into Lovino's ear. "I'm not letting you go."

Romano froze. Spain's tone of voice had changed into something…possessive.

"Maybe I should leave," France offered, recognizing that edge. He backed slowly into the doorway and bolted to his car, revved the engine, and sped away.

As soon as Francis was gone, Spain turned to face Lovino and was surprised to get a mouthful of tongue. Surprised, but not unhappy.

Something about that voice had snapped Romano's last hesitations and turned him on terribly. He wanted Spain and he wanted Spain _now_, before he became someone else's. Antonio was his, and he would make sure everyone knew that. And maybe Romano would admit he belonged to Antonio. Maybe.

Spain smiled into the kiss (Romano could feel it, _That happy-go-lucky bastard!_) and pulled him closer. Romano ran his hands up Antonio's back and gripped his dark, curly hair, whimpering softly when Spain returned the favor. He broke for air and shivered as Spain stroked his long, single curl between two fingers.

"_Querido_, why are you shaking? Are you cold?" Spain asked, almost completely ruining the mood.

Romano nearly stood and walked out on him, were it not for the fact that he was still molesting his hair. "N-no, you fucking…_ah…_asshole…Hey, s-stop it, Spain…!" Romano couldn't hold it in any longer. He let out a low, desperate moan.

Spain did not understand what had led to this reaction. But frankly, he didn't _need_ to understand. All he needed to do was make his adorable Italian lover make that noise again, several times, underneath him, and maybe while he was screaming Antonio's name…

He needed to ask permission first. Spain felt it was necessary to always ask permission. So he did.

"Lovi, hey, Lovi, is it okay?"

"Is…_nngh…_w-what okay…?"

"Is it okay if I make love to you?"

Romano stopped struggling. The fuck…?

"Seriously? You're _really_ asking me that? What the hell, it's like you're asking the father permission to marry his daughter or something!"

"But you're not a girl." Spain ran butterfly kisses down Romano's neck, making it harder for him to breathe. "And I'm asking for something very different." Suddenly, Spain had an epiphany. "_Dios_, why didn't I think of it before? Lovi!" He detached his lips from Lovino's neck and stood quickly, causing the Italian to fall back in surprise. Antonio took his hand and pulled him up, dragging him outside. Ignoring Romano's protests, Spain took him into France's garden, through a long, winding path of roses, and stopped in the middle of a secluded clearing. A sweet smell permeated the air. He led him to a little white wooden bench, then dropped down on one knee. Romano gasped. No, he couldn't be…could he?

"Hey, what are you—"

"Lovinito, my cute little lackey, my favorite little _tomate_, the best friend I could ever have, the one star in my sky, the—"

Romano felt as if his face was five inches from the sun. "Spain, damn it, if you have something to say, say it already!"

Spain looked up at Romano and smiled. Romano stared into those dazzling emerald eyes, so deep and mesmerizing; he could get trapped in that gaze…Spain squeezed his hand.

"Lovino Vargas…Will you marry me?"

Romano's lips moved, but Spain couldn't hear him.

"_Habla más alto, cariño, no puedo oírte._"

He looked away, a deep blush covering his cheeks. "I said…three meals a day…with tomatoes…and naps…"

Antonio blinked. "Does that mean yes?"

Lovino swore he could feel steam dancing around his head. He nodded quickly.

The grin on Spain's face could cure cancer as he jumped up and enclosed Romano in his arms, picking him up and twirling them in circles. "Oh Lovi, _estoy muy feliz, te quiero, te quiero tanto tanto tanto! Te voy a hacer el más feliz novia vivo! Te lo prometo!_" he cheered.

"Why am I the bride?" Romano shouted, trying to pry Spain's arms off of him.

Antonio laughed. "But_ mi amor, _you would look so cute in a wedding dress!"

Romano decided to ignore that horribly offensive statement. Men are not supposed to look "cute," let alone in dresses. He pushed himself far enough from Spain to stare straight into his eyes. "Can we fuck now?"

Spain nearly dropped the Southern Italian. "Wh…_Querido,_ your language!" he said in an appalled tone.

"You don't seem to mind, if whatever is pressing into my thigh is what I think it is," Lovino remarked. Spain shrugged guiltily and gave him a _What can I say? _look.

"But…in the garden?" Spain asked. Actually, that didn't sound like a bad idea. It smelled nice out here, and it was warm with a cool, gentle breeze…

"Fuck no. Inside. There are bugs out here, and dirt, and gross stuff," Romano scrunched up his nose in an adorable little pout. The tomato bastard squealed and still managed to make it sound manly (goddamn him), pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

_And before Lovino could even know it, Antonio whisked the Italian off his feet, their lips and tongues still in motion. Romano tried to ignore that Spain was carrying him like a bride and tried to keep his mind on Spain. Spain bust open one of guest rooms and sat Romano on the bed. They separated and Antonio smiled as he moved his lips down the Italian's fragile body. He started taking off Lovi's clothes, one by one until it showed a white porcelain chest. He heard Romano let out a light moan. Spain stopped and moved back up again to see the Romano's face._

_His face was red and lightly sweaty. He looked away from Spain, grasping onto some of the covers, and looked like a darling angel in Antonio's eyes. Romano turned and looked at Spain. He grabbed Spain's clothes and started to tug at them lightly. "Do you want me to take my clothes off, mi tomate?" he asked._

_Romano shook his head. "No, idiot, I want to do it," he told him. Romano pulled off Spain's shirt. Antonio tried not to laugh as Romano was ripping apart his clothing._

_"You're very eager aren't you Lovi?" Spain chuckled._

_Romano grabbed the back of Spain's head; grasping onto his curly locks of hair. _

_"Yes..." he breathed as he pushed his lips onto Spain's. Romano started taking the male's role and started pushing Spain down to the bed. Lovino started to try to take off Spain's pants but he was having trouble. They separated so Romano could take off the rest of Spain's clothes. After Spain's boxer's landed on the floor, Romano just sat there, staring at Spain's naked self. Spain couldn't tell if Romano was in shock or awe. "How...how...?" Romano stumbled._

_"Fourteen centimeters?" Spain asked. "Is that what you are trying to ask me?"_

_Romano was speechless and Spain looked at him with curiosity, trying to figure out what Lovi was trying to do. Instead of just moving on and going into complete sex mode, Antonio tried to figure it out cause he's an idiot. Spain put his hand on Lovi's face, stroked it gently. "Why aren't you telling me Lovi?" he asked softly. Then Antonio moved his hand to Romano's curl and started to stroke it lightly._

_"I was-was going to ask-ask that…damnit! Get-get off...," Lovino started to say._

* * *

**A/N: Alright, so I got a virus on my computer the other day. The only tabs I had up were deviantArt, Facebook, Youtube, and Pixiv. I think I may have gotten the virus from Pixiv. It's just that I don't know a lot about that site. Has anyone else had this problem? Thanks, and I like reviews almost as much as I like double rainbows all the way across the sky.**


	5. Chapter 5

**How to Ditch Your Date  
****Part 5**

**A/N: The Spanish is wrong. I would be surprised if it wasn't. But I kid you not: I spent two hours searching the interwebz for the right way to say this stuff, and needless to say I deleted two hours of web browsing history. So at least give me credit for trying.**

**This be my first lemon EVARRRR. Titlelee1093's too, so please do not kill us. But tell us if it sucks, and if you do, give us some suggestions s'il vous plaît.**

* * *

"Well, Lovi, it doesn't look like you want me to get off down here," Spain teased, reaching down and cupping Romano's groin. Romano squeaked in surprise and tried to push him off, but quickly lost his strength as Antonio squeezed and massaged his growing erection.

"A…at least…let me…take off my pants…dammit…" Lovino choked out. His skinny jeans were growing painfully tight and god forbid Spain made him mess them up. They were fucking _Armani. _When he voiced this, however, Spain laughed.

"Only you would worry about that at a time like this," he said. He pressed a soft kiss against Lovino's neck, who in turn tilted his head to give him more access. A sharp pain made Romano gasp—_Motherfucker just bit me!_ When Spain licked the wound and Romano began to laugh, Antonio looked up, confused. "What are you laughing at, _cariño_?"

Romano blushed heavily. "Th-that…tickles…" Goddamn his sensitivity.

Thankfully for him, or maybe not, Spain found this utterly adorable. "Lovi, you're still ticklish? Mmm, should I give you an award for being so cute?" he cooed.

Before he could object, Antonio forced Lovino's legs apart, and that was when the Italian noticed his pants were on the floor. When the hell had that happened? He suddenly lost interest in designer jeans when Spain began touching him.

Moving his hand over every tanned stretch of skin, every crevice and dip, his tongue following every touch and _damn_ he never knew his navel was that sensitive _oh God,_ his tongue kept going lower and lower and—

_Goddamnmotherfuckingshitcunt._

This was wrong. So totally wrong. But hell if Lovino was going to stop him.

Spain's expert tongue trailed up his length, swirling his tip and leaving small kisses. He sucked lightly, taking him deeper in his mouth then pulling back, in and out, in and out. Spain's mouth was _hot, _Romano noticed as the older man deep-throated him. He bit his hand hard enough to taste blood, holding back the dirty sounds he knew would come out.

And to his great disappointed, it stopped.

"Now, that just won't do," Spain said, smiling darkly. "I want to hear the nice sounds you make, Lovi. Don't hold back, okay?" He grinded their hips together harshly and Lovino all but screamed. "_Sí,_ _querido, así, así_…" Antonio moaned.

He pumped their erections together and turned Lovino's head to kiss him. Lovino sighed as the Spaniard deepened the kiss, trailing his teeth with his tongue and gently sucking Romano's own wet organ. The younger man wrapped his legs around Spain's waist to get closer, find more of that heat and friction that was driving him fucking_ insane_...

Breaking for air because he could barely breathe as it is, Lovino let out a plethora of frustrated, colorful words.

"What's wrong, Lovi?" Spain muttered, sliding his thumb over Romano's slit.

Shivering, he replied, "N-not…enough…"

"Not enough…what?"

Romano gasped as Spain fondled his balls and shouted, "D-don't make me say it out loud, you bastard!"

Antonio absentmindedly swirled pre-cum around their slick cocks, smearing it together. "But I won't know if you won't tell me." Romano, however, could not possibly speak with the way his Spanish lover's fingers scraped down softly over the skin above his hole. He brought the hand up suddenly, gently pressing two fingers against Lovino's lips and breathing, "Suck." Slightly confused, Lovino complied, closing his eyes and taking the fingers slowly in his mouth. Spain's breath caught as Romano's tongue glided over and between his fingers, coating them in a thick layer of sweat and saliva. He couldn't help but imagine what this generous mouth would feel like on his aching, neglected—

No, no, no! This was for Lovi. He wanted his _tomate_ to feel good, to make up for all the confusion and hurt he'd been through. Besides, with how things were going, Spain was getting rewarded plenty enough.

Once he felt his fingers were slick enough, he pulled them out of Romano's mouth, leaving a thin trail of saliva connecting the two. Spain watched him carefully as he pressed gently against Romano's entrance. The younger man's eyes widened and a heavy blush spread across his cheeks. Antonio rubbed Romano's little hole until it turned light pink in color and almost seemed to suck him in. Spain blushed as well, looking back as Romano gave the slightest of nods. He slid in one finger, still watching Romano, who had squeezed his eyes shut and made an _O_ shape with his mouth. Spain reached for Lovino's curl with his free hand in hopes of distracting him from the pain. Based on his previous reaction (that lovely moan, whose very memory made Antonio's nether regions ache horribly), it was a good feeling, not painful as he'd thought before. He stroked and tugged the stray hair, and since Lovino was holding back less, he once again let out those charming, erotic sounds. _Such beautiful music,_ Spain thought. _If only I could record this…! _Which actually didn't sound like a bad idea, but Romano would most likely hate it and smack him for even bringing it up.

"_Hah…An…tonio…"_

Spain quickly snapped back to the present and gulped heavily. He pushed in a second finger and stretched and scissored Lovino, twitching at the heat. Lovi was so _small, _so damn _tight…_Spain didn't want to hurt him, but if it felt this good on his fingers…

"_Sbrigarsi…p-por favor…"_

At that, he very nearly lost it. Lovino, sweating and panting and fully flushed beneath him, making those adorable sounds and pleading with him, even speaking _Spanish_…He needed to hurry, or this was going to be over before it began. Antonio quickly inserted a third finger, shoving up to his knuckles and curling his fingers, looking for that certain spot that would hopefully take the pain away…

"_M-MERDA__!"_

_Ah, there it is._

He'd love to rub against that sweet spot until his little Italian went mad, but his patience was wearing thin and the wait was painful.

He pulled out of Romano, who let out a short sound of displeasure. _Damn it, just when it's beginning to feel good, the bastard stops! _But soon he felt something else pressing against his ass, something bigger and thicker and hotter…

"Lovi."

"_Che cosa_…_?_" Romano hissed.

"_¿Estás listo?"_

"Fucking he—Antonio, I've been ready for centuries! Now _métetelo por mi culo y me jodas!_"

"_Tienes ganas, Lovi~?_"

"_V-vaffanculo!"_

Maybe Romano's dirty mouth wasn't always a bad thing.

_Spain leaned in, pressing his body onto Romano's. Antonio's lips were barely a centimeter from Lovino's ear. "Relájese Lovi, dolerá más si está tenso," Spain whispered._

_"What the...fuck?" Romano hissed._

_"Lovi," Spain moaned. "Please. I'm trying to give you pleasure."_

_Romano turned his head and looked at the Spaniard."F-fine," he mumbled. Lovino moved his head and laid it on a pillow, his back arched and his ass in the air. Spain continued and pushed in slowly. Words were flying like music in a concert. The movement started. Slowly it started. Romano started to grip onto the sheets as tight as he could, biting on his lower lip, but the pleasure built on. They took their time, knowing not to rush. Spain didn't want to hurt his Lovi. But things started going easier, much more smoothly._

_"Please..." Romano started to moan._

_Spain paused and asked, "What's wrong, Lovi?"_

_"...faster…" he breathed._

_"What was that?" Spain asked._

_"FASTER, DAMNIT!" Lovi shouted. _

_Spain smiled that loveable smile and started to speed up. Before the Italian knew it, they were doing positions and fetishes he never knew were possible, until something came over him. The pleasure built up; he knew he couldn't hold it in. He came everywhere, all over his Spaniard lover. Antonio smiled, took some of the cum from his body onto his finger and licked it off. Seeing his Spanish lover do that made his face warm and he felt kind of embarrassed._

_"Lovi, no he terminado todavía," he told Romano. The Italian nodded. Antonio asked, "Can I please finish? I know I finished your pleasure but I still would like to keep making love to you."_

_The Spaniard started to kiss his lover's neck, using his tongue to make slow circles. The moans came from Romano and he said, "Fine...tomato bastard...stop fucking teasing me though..."_

_Though really, the Italian enjoyed the teases._

Spain knew, no matter how much Romano denied it. So he smiled mockingly against his neck and gave it a little peck, sliding his hand from Romano's waist to his front. The Spaniard grabbed his limp manhood and began rubbing it. Romano hissed out in annoyance.

"N-not…aga—_ah!_—again…!" he said, in the most irritated tone he could muster while being fucked and given a hand job.

"I don't want it to hurt, Lovi," Antonio reasoned.

Romano bit his lip. He'd already come before Spain, and now Spain was feeling bad about it? There was no way he would live that down. Of course, he couldn't exactly think straight at the moment, as he was quickly becoming hard again.

"Does…it still hurt?"

"No, damnit…!" Romano growled.

Spain switched his angle ever so slightly and rammed in a bit harder than he would have liked, and just as he was about to apologize, Romano screamed.

"_Oh god, A-Antonio!_" He came again, soiling the wrinkled, sweaty sheets. Lovino's hot, tight muscles convulsing around him soon brought Spain to his climax as well, and he pushed in to the hilt, struggling to keep his balance over the Italian.

He pulled out, exhausted, and collapsed next to his panting fiancé. There was a moment of relaxed silence between the two in which they were able to catch their breath. At that point, Romano could properly hate himself for how much this was going to hurt in the morning. Spain leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Lovi~" he chirped.

Ew. He was trying to sound cute. "What?" Romano snapped.

"It feels so good inside you~"

Romano, at a loss for words, sputtered out a few embarrassed ramblings and hid his face in his knees. "Don't say stuff like that, stupid!" he squeaked out.

Spain perked up. _So cute! _"But it's true!" he said. "You're so warm and soft and tight and—"

Lovino rammed his head into Antonio's stomach, effectively silencing him.

"Shut up, dumbass!"

He fell against the mattress, deciding he was too tired to shower now. Just as he was about to fall into blissful unconsciousness, he felt a pair of arms encircling his waist. Spain snuggled against his back, nuzzling the nape of his neck.

"Um…Lovi…" he started hesitantly.

Romano sighed. "What do you want, bastard?"

"Mm…" Antonio inhaled softly, giving the younger man chills. "You won't…regret this later, will you?"

Wait…had he really just asked him that? Romano's muscles tensed. Who the hell did he think he was? On the other hand, Romano didn't exactly give him any reason to make him think otherwise…but still…he was a man of his word, right? Of course, having claimed to be straight until a few hours ago, it would feel weird to say he was perfectly fine with it. Romano gathered his courage, took a deep breath, and said exactly what was on his mind before he could realize how stupid it sounded.

"I don't know. Maybe. But probably not. Because goddammit, I've been waiting for this for God knows how long and I don't necessarily mean the fucking, I meant us getting together in general. Well, I mean, the sex was amazi—acceptable, but that's not the point. The point is, I shouldn't feel too bad about it and if I do, I'll get over it. If I try to run away, I'll come back because that's what I always end up doing. And maybe I wouldn't mind you coming after me." _Okay. I can breathe now. And never think about what I just said again._

Unfortunately, Antonio did not have the same opinion. He sat up quickly and stared at Lovino for a moment. He refused to meet the Spaniard's gaze. He would only comment on how he looked like a tomato or how cute he was or some bullshit like that.

"Romano…"

"G-goddammit, don't cry, you fucking baby!" Lovino said frantically. He raised himself on his elbows and clumsily attempted to wipe the tears from his older lover's eyes.

Antonio laughed. "I'm sorry Lovi, it's just…I'm glad to hear that. But…can you please try?"

Romano raised a cautious eyebrow at him. "Try what?"

Spain leaned over and kissed the space between Romano's brows gently, then the tip of his nose, then his lips. "Stay with me…always, Romanito…please try…" Lovino's breath caught in his throat, and tears of his own began budding.

"O-of course…stupid..." He pouted and looked away, struggling to keep the smile off his face.

* * *

**A/N: It was admittedly a little weird writing my second part while listening to Crank Dat Cavalry Boy…But there you have it. And somehow, titlelee was surprised by how dirty I made my part. It's not bad compared to a lot of fics on this site though. Not that I'm complaining C:**

**The end is near, chilluns.**

**Oh yeah. Translations.**

_Sbrigarsi _- hurry  
_por favor _- please_  
Merda - _shit  
_Che cosa...? _- What...?  
_¿Estás listo?_ - Are you ready?  
_métetelo por mi culo y me jodas! _- ...I am not translating this. All you need to know is that Lovino has a dirty mouth. But you already knew that.  
_Tienes ganas - _Are you horny  
_vaffanculo - _fuck off, fuck yourself  
_Relájese Lovi, dolerá más si está tenso - _Relax Lovi, it will hurt more if you are tense  
_no he terminado todavía - _I haven't finished yet

**I felt we went a little overboard with the Spanish, being Frenchies whouseGoogletranslate, so I backed off on the final part. Now excuse me while I go die in a corner. Again.**


	6. Chapter 6

**How to Ditch Your Date  
****Part 6**

**A/N: JAY KAY FALSE ALARM GUYS. That last chapter wasn't the end because I'm a failure at communication and titlelee ended up continuing her part. I don't even know. So THIS is the end and I can headdesk in peace. I'm putting the epilogue after this, sorry about the confusion.**

**

* * *

**

_Spain put his arms around his little Italian lover. "Good, I'm glad."_

_Romano tried and squirm out of Spain's grasp but Spain was being strong at this point and decided he did not want to let go. After a minute or so, Lovino had finally given in and let Antonio hold him in his arms. As much Romano liked to deny it, he felt so comfortable and warm in Spain's embrace. A blush crossed his face as the two lovers laid with each other in bed. Romano closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep._

_"Hey Lovi?" Antonio asked in his cute voice again._

_"FFFFFF...what?" Romano asked._

_"Guess what?" Spain cooed in the Italian's ear._

_"I want to sleep and you won't let me?" Romano guessed._

_Spain let out a small giggle and said, "No silly. Guess again."_

_"What?" Romano asked sounding completely pissed off that Spain wouldn't let him sleep._

_"I'm gonna be the best husband I can be," Antonio whispered in Romano's ear._

_Romano turned around and buried his face into his fiancé, and he said something that Spain couldn't understand._

_"What did you say Lovi? I couldn't hear you," Spain told._

_Lovino moved his head upwards and repeated, "You better...and I'll try too."_

_Spain's grasp tightened and he asked, "Really?"_

_"Sure...I'll, I'll try...but you better not fuck up or else I'm leaving you, you hear?"_

_Antonio kissed Lovino on the forehead. "I won't mi tomate, I promise."_

_Romano turned back around and tried to fall asleep._

_"AND we're gonna have the most BEAUTIFUL KIDS!" Spain said with much excitement._

_"WHAT?" Romano freaked. He jumped up from lying down and looked at his delusional fiancé. "NO, FUCK NO! FUCK YOU, NO!"_

_"But why?" Spain asked, sitting up in the process._

_"Did you forget that I'm a male, I mean COME ON! WE JUST HAD FUCKING GAY SEX! I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD HAVE SOME FUCKING BRAIN IN THERE BUT I-"_

_Spain interrupted Romano by pouncing on Lovino and started kissing him, stopping him right then and there. "Calm down," Spain said after he separated from Lovino's lips. "I'm sorry to have upset you. I didn't mean to. We'll talk about it later, okay?"_

_Romano looked down and whispered, "F...fine." Romano lay back down and tried to go to sleep again._

_"But if you do want to know, I want eight kids!"_

_Out of nowhere, Romano grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it at Spain. "God damn it Spain. Just go to sleep already. Good night."_

_Spain had a small smile spread across his face and said, "Good night Lovi."_

The next morning Antonio woke up to the delightful sight of a naked Italian straddling his hips with a pout. "If you want your fucking eight kids, you'd better ask England or Norway's gay-ass fairies to help. In case you haven't realized, I don't have ovaries. Or a vagina."

Spain was not completely awake, but after a moment of replaying those words in his head, he smiled widely. "Really, Lovi? You'd be willing to do that?"

Romano's fists tightened on their place on Spain's abdomen. "I-it's not like I _want_ to, I just figured you wouldn't stop bugging me about it. And eight kids is going to take a hell of a long time, just to warn you."

"But you could have them all at once, right? Like Octomom!"

Romano gave him the look saved for the most idiotic nation on earth and placed his feet on either side of Spain's head, giving it a good, forceful squeeze. "Owww! Lovi, that hurts!"

"No shit! This is fucking ridiculous anyway; I don't even know why I'm getting your hopes up. I can't get pregnant, I'm a man!"

"You just said that Norway or that…that stupid England could help with their magical fairies!"

Scoffing, Romano folded his legs back under him, mostly because of discomfort. "Whatever. Like I said, how am I supposed to give birth?"

"Um…A C-section? And silly, I know you don't have a vagina! How else could I have given you a blowjo—"

"Ugh, shut up! I get it! Goddammit…Forget it, we have to get married first anyway!"

"Lovi, is this that whole purity before marriage thing? Because we already kind of ruined that."

Romano flipped one leg out again to kick Spain's head, but the Spaniard was much more awake now. He caught Romano's foot and, throwing Romano a taunting smirk, gave it a long, slow lick. The younger man shivered, pushing his legs together and suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

"This was a nice sight to wake up to. Could you do this for me every morning, _querido?_" Antonio smirked. Romano glared and looked away but said nothing. Feeling encouraged, Spain pulled his Italian lover down so their noses were touching. "Hm, you didn't say no…"

"God, you are such a perv!" Romano growled. "Like hell I'm gonna do that! Fuck, my back hurts, you bastard! Why the hell were you so rough?"

"B-but you told me to go faster—"

"I-I don't remember that!" Lovino flushed bright red as always, and Spain, with some difficulty, bit back a tomato comment. "Go make me some breakfast, you son of a bitch! I'm hungry!"

Spain almost said something about language, but decided against it. Instead he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, letting his hand trail down Romano's back. That conniving hand was suddenly grabbing Romano's cock as Spain let a sly smile spread across his face. Romano's hunger was suddenly not important. At all.

"Ready for round two?" Antonio murmured against Lovino's neck.

"You fucking whore…" Lovino replied scathingly, though he didn't like how it came out as a strangled half-moan. It took a lot of effort to hide the smile that came about from knowing Spain was this way for _him,_ wanted to marry _him,_ wanted to…freaking…_impregnate_…_him_. "I swear, if I get knocked up before the wedding, I'm going to kill you."

Antonio laughed. "Lovinito is going to look so cute in his wedding dress!"

The insults following this remark were erased from Romano's mind as Spain began jerking him off. _Fuck, _Romano would wear a bikini and Daisy Dukes to the goddamn wedding if Spain kept this up. The very thought of wearing such an outfit was sickening, but Spain's probable reaction made Romano grind down on him in need. He groaned, rolling his hips to position his ass over Spain's member.

"Hm~? Does Lovinito want me~?" Antonio purred. "Well…It's going to have to wait until after breakfast!" He pushed off a shocked Romano and stood to stretch.

Romano, completely aghast, simply sat and stared at him before shouting, "What the fuck? You're the one who wanted to go again!"

Spain pulled on a pair of sweatpants and smiled smugly. "You did too, _mi ganas tomate~!_"

Lovino blushed bright red and sputtered out denials as Spain flounced out of the room. "That bastard isn't getting laid any time soon!" the Italian flared. He looked down at his new "problem" and sighed. He was engaged to the country of passion and _still _had to masturbate. Asshole.

* * *

**A/N: In the end, Romano did not wear a bikini and Daisy Dukes, much to Spain's (and France's) disappointment. And he did not get knocked up before the wedding.**

**So let me emphasize. THE END. REALLY. THE EPILOGUE FOLLOWS THIS CHAPTER.**

**I'm sorry guys. I fail.**

**Translations:  
**_mi ganas tomate - _my horny tomato

**Considering I couldn't rely on Google to properly translate this since they don't do well with slang and the phrase "horny tomato" does not get thrown around a lot...yeah. I had to take a guess.**


	7. Epilogue

**How to Ditch Your Date  
****Epilogue**

**A/N: I know a lot of people have already read this before reading the previous chapter because I suck, but I'll keep it as the epilogue. Preggy Romano is not mentioned. Just a warning.**

* * *

"Setting you up? Whatever could you be talking about, Romano?"

Hungary smirked playfully, knowing full well that the elder Italian would not hurt her. Not that he could.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Making Spain go out with Belgium so I would get jealous! What kind of sick bastard are you?" Romano shouted into the receiver. He'd called Hungary a few weeks after the "incident," only because he was too tired to bother going to her house. Besides, she'd probably ask him all these embarrassing, personal, R-rated questions.

"It worked, didn't it? Oh yeah, I have a question for ya!"

_Oh God._ "Ugh. What?"

"So on a scale of one to ten, how good is Antonio in bed?"

What the hell? How had she even _known_ it had come to that? She probably had cameras hooked up in France's house! Although, even for Hungary, that sounded pretty undesirable.

"Dammit! I knew we should have done it outside!" Romano thought out loud.

"Outside? That would have been so hot! Do that next time for me, could you?" God, she sounded way too excited.

"Fucking…You know what, just forget it. What I want to know is, how did you know that would work?" Romano kicked a box in his way, cursing when its contents appeared to hold bowling balls. _This damn attic is too cluttered! Veneziano likes cleaning, why can't he pick up some of this shit?_

"Weeell…" Hungary paused to contemplate whether she should tell him, or maybe it was for effect. The Italian on the other end rolled his eyes. "I knew you when you were a kid, of course. At first I wasn't sure about you and Spain since you were kind of young, but you weren't too far apart in age. And I could tell you were into him, the way you always got jealous when he was with other people. You used to have a thing for Belgium too, but she teased you too much and didn't like you the same way. Plus she pointed out how happy you got whenever Spain came home from the Americas once. Before you ask, yes, I talked to her a lot when it came to stuff like that. It was so cute how you've tried to deny it, but it's been too long! I figured it was about time you guys hooked up, so I took matters into my own hands! Belgium agreed with me, so she helped out too."

Romano bit his lip. "You knew that I liked him, fine, but…How did you know Spain felt the same way?"

"Well," Elizabeta sighed. "I didn't, to be honest. He's so dense, and surprisingly hard to read. He seems to love everyone. But he was so protective of you. Out of all of his colonies, he kept you closest. Now I've noticed he has this look when you flirt with girls though. I used to think he was sad because you were growing up, but my gaydar told me otherwise! He was definitely sad because you were paying attention to girls instead of him! So that's my theory. Now, aren't you going to thank me?"

Elizabeta was greeted with a long silence. _Is he being shy, or did we get disconnected? _ "Hello? Roma—"

"Really good."

"…What?"

"He was amazing."

"…_Oh!—_"

Romano disconnected the call quickly and shoved it in his pocket, ignoring the heavy blush on his face. Hopefully he could forget the horrible blackmail material he had just given to one of the biggest gay porn-producing nations in the world. He hid his face in his hands for a moment, told himself he should keep his focus, and continued his search in the horribly dusty, old attic.

/o\

To say that Antonio was incredibly happy would be an understatement. He was ecstatic, elated, the happiest nation alive…Words could not describe his joy. Yes, that was a cliché, but Spain was into those kinds of things. He'd hoped Romano would be able to move in with him the day after they'd gotten together, but unfortunately, the Italian had said it was too soon and he hadn't even packed anything. Besides, how could he expect Veneziano to take care of himself? And he was _not_ letting his _fratello_ move in with the potato bastard as the stupid pasta-head had suggested. Though Spain didn't see the problem with that. It just seemed that Romano didn't want to get rid of his and Feliciano's house. It was the reminder that they were independent and that they could take care of themselves; they could make it on their own. Well, they'd figure it all out later.

Together…It was strange. But not a bad strange. The idea of loving Romano in a romantic way was new to the Spaniard, even though he now knew (thanks to France, who he had apologized to and thanked a million times over) he'd loved him that way for a long time. At first he was worried about how that would change their relationship, but after waking up the morning after to Romano complaining about his sore ass and how hungry he was so he'd better get breakfast quick, dammit, Spain knew nothing had really change. Well, except for the kissing. And the love-making. That was a nice change. Despite the complaints, Romano seemed to like it too. Damn, Romano was so cute during sex…

Spain shook his head. Now was not a good time to think about stuff like that. Lovi wasn't around, and he didn't like cold showers. Instead he focused on the paella he was making, hoping to surprise his Lovinito with a nice dinner. Maybe he'd finally agree to go on a date, too! Romano was unfortunately still embarrassed about making their relationship public, especially with how affectionate Spain was no matter where they were. He had restricted them to holding hands after the passionate Spaniard had shoved his tongue down Romano's throat in the middle of the produce section the day before. Spain wasn't sure if he liked having rules with touching his lover, but if it meant Romano was super cuddly when they got home, it didn't seem too bad.

He was thinking the past few blissful days over (keeping out last night since Romano had demanded he make up for hanging up on him) when the doorbell rang. Maybe it was France with those romantic candles he had asked for! He didn't know if Romano liked candles or not, but he was sure he'd seen a few in the Vargas' house.

Antonio rushed to the door and was surprised to find the very object of his affection behind it instead of his French friend. "Lovi? I didn't know you were coming over! You should have called!"

"You don't want me here?" Romano asked, puffing out his cheeks.

"Don't be silly! Of course I do! Come in, come in! I was just making some paella for you!" Spain laughed, waving him inside. He glanced at the green canvas bag Lovino was carrying. "What's that?"

Romano blushed and swallowed, refusing to meet shining green eyes. Antonio smiled and caught his face in his hands, leaning forward to kiss the Italian's nose. "Is it a surprise?"

"No…" Romano mumbled. "H-here!" He thrust it into Antonio's chest, who was barely able to grab it before the younger man let go and stomped past him. "Where are your tomatoes, dammit? I don't see any in here!"

Spain walked to the kitchen, where he figured Romano was looking in the fridge for the delicious red fruits. "They're on the counter beside those grocery bags, Lovi. You never let me put them away last night," he smiled. Romano blushed.

"You could have put it away after I left!"

"I didn't have time to! Besides, I don't see why you had to leave."

"I had to talk to my boss this morning. And you owe me dinner! He noticed how uncomfortable I was sitting and thought I had to use the restroom or some shit like that!" Spain didn't see how that meant he was obliged to make him food, but he didn't mind. He felt bad whenever he caused Lovino pain, so he did something to make up for it every time.

Laughing, Antonio replied, "Like I said before, I'm making paella!" He looked down at the bag in his arms and opened it. A small smile graced his face. "Oh, Lovi…"

He set the bag on the counter carefully and picked his little lover up, sitting him down next to it. "I'm not a little kid," Romano pouted.

"I know. I wouldn't do this if you were," he breathed. He pushed himself between Romano's legs and kissed him full on the lips. Romano moaned, letting a Spanish tongue explore his mouth. Antonio ran his hands up Lovino's thighs, his waist, his sides. The Italian wrapped his arms around Spain's neck as he felt hard denim being pressed against his crotch.

He groaned in annoyance as Antonio pulled back with a smile. "_Gracias, mi amore. _I love it." Spain picked up the old painting from its place next to Romano. He knew it wasn't recent, as it was worn and dusty and Romano's art skills had improved enormously as he'd grown older. The painting was of Spain and Romano surrounded by tomatoes—a portrait of happiness. "But how did you know?"

Romano kicked his legs against the counter, wishing they could just go back to making out. "Hungary told me."

Spain's smiled disappeared. "You were talking to Hungary?"

"She was the one who got us together, you know," Romano said adamantly. Though he wasn't quite sure why he was defending the manipulative brunette.

Mulling over this for a moment, Spain shrugged. "You have a point." Sure, she'd caused Romano a lot of pain, but it had turned out well in the end and he seemed okay with it now. Spain brightened and said, "I should thank her later!"

"Whatever you do, don't offer her any favors," Romano said sternly.

"_Por que?_"

"Just. Don't." The warning glare sent his way told Spain there was to be no debate over this.

"Okay…But when did you make this? It looks old, and I've never seen it before."

"I made it while you were…away. In the New World. I just never showed it to you because it's an ugly painting, and it's embarrassing. I don't know why you'd want it, but it was just sitting in my attic and I supposed you would it based on what Hungary said." Lies, but how would Spain know? He wasn't about to tell him he'd spent most of the day searching for it.

"I'm so glad…I don't care how it looks. It's from you when you were little, and it has both of us in it! This will be very precious to me," Antonio nodded, hugging it tightly to his chest like a new favorite toy.

"Whatever," Romano said, taking a bite out of one of the tomatoes. "Just don't put it where anyone can see it."

"But whyyyy?"

"Because it's embarrassing! Don't whine, you sound like a little girl!"

Antonio sighed. He'd find a way to convince the younger man. He just had to give it time. This picture was definitely hanging in the living room. "_Lo siento, Lovinito_," he said, leaning forward and kissing Romano's forehead.

"For what?" he whispered, taking in Spain's comforting scent.

"Everything."

Romano leaned into the Spaniard hesitantly and let himself be held in strong, tanned arms. "You should be," he mumbled.

They stood in a warm embrace until Antonio said, "How should I make it up to you?"

"…You have to try too."

"Try?"

"You made me try, so you have to stay with me—"

Spain hugged Romano hard enough to squeeze the air out of him. Lovino coughed and was about to yell at him when Spain said, "Try to stay with you? You couldn't get me to do otherwise! Don't ever worry about that again, Lovi, okay?"

Romano nodded into Antonio's chest and bit his lip. How did Spain know exactly what he wanted to hear? Of course, after centuries of obliviousness, the idiot had better keep that promise. And hurry up with his damn dinner.

"So when the hell is my paella going to be done?"

Obviously Spain wasn't the only one who knew how to ruin the mood. Spain sighed but smiled anyway. Well, nothing could really ruin _his _mood.

* * *

**A/N: No matter how cheesy this is, it couldn't have been as bad as the new Narnia movie. Holy crap. **

**I feel bad for basically monopolizing the epilogue, but I just wanted this to be done. Once again, I apologize to everyone and especially titlelee1093 for messing this up. Make sure to read her stories! I hope you liked How to Ditch Your Date. Please review; it makes us happy~**


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